How to Calculate Black Moon Lilith

Black Moon Lilith in Astrology (a.k.a the Dark Moon) is an archetype that was created to shove all of the consequences of the patriarchy under the rug. Where Lilith is in your natal chart determines the location of your chaotic feminine wound. Here are some basic instructions to identify the sign and house your own Lilith is in!

1. Go to https://astro.cafeastrology.com/natal.php

2. Enter your birth date, time and location

3. Find “Lilith” in the first data table and write down the sign next to “Lilith”. This is the sign your Black Moon Lilith is in

4. In the third data table, find “Lilith” and write down the roman numeral next to “Lilith”. This is the house your Lilith is in.

Read More:

Lilith in the Signs

Lilith in the Houses

If you are interested in the intricate details of your own unique birth chart beyond these general explanations, Click Here to book a reading with me!

To learn more about the history of Lilith and how to work with our Black Moon Lilith, join the Lilith Workshop

Feel free to email me with any questions or ask during the Q&A of the Lilith Workshop!

Lilith in the Houses Part 1

Black Moon Lilith reveals the ways we've been disconnected from our authentic selves by society—it reveals our hidden shame. Where Lilith is located in our natal chart illuminates where in our lives we may become obsessive and hyperfixated, or lean away in extreme aversion. Other people play a key role in perpetuating this stigma. Societal stigma for not performing the roles assigned to us by society, and the collective shame and scapegoating can cause further trauma. If you don't know where Black Moon Lilith is in your chart, check out the tutorial linked below.

Black Moon Lilith In Your Natal Chart

Here is a breakdown of how Lilith operates in each house of astrology!

1st House - House of the body e.g. appearance, outward personality.

Lilith in the 1st house points to a past in which your body has been made to feel like an unsafe space to inhabit. You might struggle with feeling safe and at home in your body, and may find yourself engaging in compulsive behaviors to avoid being present in your body.

2nd House - House of personal value e.g. cash on hand, possessions, values, skills.

Money, things and value are a huge point of trauma for Lilith in the 2nd house. You likely have struggled with dispossession of your valuables or possession of valuables on false grounds. Hyper fixation on what you don’t have can feel comforting even if extractive and exhausting. Hoarding can also feel like a safe fixation.

3rd House - House of inner and outer environment e.g. siblings, communication, learning.

Lilith in the 3rd house indicates you may find that you regularly do not feel safe in your immediate environments. You might feel that a safe environment that you consented to be in is just not within your grasp. You might even struggle to see what that safe environment could look like.

4th House - House of inner world, where you come from, story you tell about yourself e.g. home, parents, roots.

Lilith in the 4th house makes you feel unsafe sharing your true self with the world. It can feel safer to keep your true self and inner world private and can often lead to feelings of isolation, abandonment and loneliness. Very possible these unsafe feelings originated from your relationship with your parents.

5th House - House of passionate creativity e.g. romance, children, creativity.

Your creative process is a pain point for your Lilith in the 5th house. You have been made to feel that you are not safe creatively (or sexually) expressing yourself. This can create a hidden shame and you may find yourself unable to cultivate a relationship with your creative output. You may feel safer hiding or avoiding pursuit of a creative passion to paper over this wound.

6th House - House of health, daily life and day to day functions e.g. health, work, self improvement.

You may find your time being stretched beyond your reach without you even knowing what happened. You could be paranoid about how your time is spent and struggle to finish all the tasks you feel you need to complete to make it through the day.

7th House - House of one to one relationships e.g. friends, relationships, enemies, marriage.

Lilith in the 7th house implies a persistent insecurity in your one to one relationships and partnerships. You could struggle to share your true self with your partners, and you may close yourself off to partners who value you for your true self.

8th House - House of taboo topics e.g. sex, death, regeneration, taxes, other people’s money.

Other people’s bullshit and baggage is likely a pain point for you. The 8th house rules the exchanges we have with other people, so it’s not shocking that it houses topics considered extractive and taboo. Kinky sex, death, regeneration, investments, debt and taxes are all sites where Lilith in the 8th house feels resistance showing up as your full self. In environments where you are not made to feel safe, you will find yourself shamed for your engagements with these taboo topics.

9th House - House of inner and outer exploration e.g. higher education, travel, religion.

Lilith in the 9th house feels pure terror moving through big picture world systems such as higher education, religious institutions, and world travel. You may feel manipulated in these spaces and can find yourself fluctuating between seeking to be validated by these big systems and rejecting them altogether.

10th House - House of your highest trajectory in life e.g. career, status, purpose.

The 10th house refers to the part of you that operates in the most external and public facing part of your engagement with the world. Lilith in the 10th house implies that you have been ostracized for showing up as yourself in public. These past experiences can make being publicly seen, recognized, received and perceived feel extremely scary!

11th House - House of the social collective e.g. groups, goals, aspiration.

Lilith in the 11th house has to do with historically being persecuted in your larger community spaces. You may go to extreme lengths seek validation and acceptance from your larger community, like on public facing social media, only to end up feeling more isolated/persecuted when the validation you crave eludes you. You might also go the other extreme, entirely rejecting forms of public community connection and feeling safer if you keep to yourself.

12th House - House of the subconscious universe e.g. Solitude, transcendence, self sabotage, paranormal experiences, ancestors, punishing institutions, past lives.

Lilith in the 12th house implies both an extreme depth of your chaotic feminine wound—and also an opportunity for endings. Lilith is already referring to a void point in our lives that can be hard for us to recognize in ourselves. Having Lilith in the house that is hardest to recognize may make understanding and reflecting on it more difficult. You might find yourself with intense nightmares and fear of the supernatural, or maybe you’re obsessed with engaging with the subconscious universe to the point of putting yourself in danger spiritually!

Part 2 with suggestions coming soon! For more on Lilith, check out the Lilith Workshop here.

The Lilith Workshop

The Patriarchy's Most Toxic Traits By Sign! Part 2!

So you’ve read part one of how the patriarchy enables men to duck accountability in their interpersonal relationships! (To read part one click this link!)

If part one resonated and left you wondering what to do about it all, here is part two with some balancing points of self reflection broken down by sign!

Men, if you find yourself guilty of using patriarchy to duck accountability in your interpersonal relationships, consider these points, broken down by sign!

Aries Men

When someone communicating with you makes you feel uncomfortable or angry and you feel your body get hot with the intensity of your emotions, take a step back and take a deep breath. If you can’t calmly continue the conversation, communicate that, and then do what you can to ride through your emotions and develop a communication strategy that is more sustainable

Taurus Men

An important exercise Taurus men can often overlook is to consider what sources you value insight from that are not you. Notice the makeup of the sources you consider valuable—do they look, talk, act and live just like you? How often are you listening, like really asking and taking time out of your life to listen to the women you value? How do you treat people society has maligned? Have you cultivated an environment of consistent receptivity so people in your life feel comfortable sharing hard things with you?

Gemini Men

You need to pay very close attention when people who love you communicate their needs to you. Your next fixation should be on understanding how to recognize when someone is communicating their needs to you and continually renewing your commitment to that flexibility around the needs of your loved ones lasting into all the iterations of you that come next. You need to be willing to leave people whose needs you cannot flexibly accommodate alone.

Cancer Men

Emotional management is the name of your game! The first thing a Cancer man should do when he becomes cognizant of his tendency to use others as emotional managers is to learn how to identify what his own needs are with people who have consented to help him through that journey. Like a therapist. Or an energy healer. Or an astrologer. ;) I trust in your ability to build out the consenting support system you deserve Cancer man!!

Leo Men

You need to decide what you are going to do to develop a regular practice of incorporating vulnerability into your life. How can you orchestrate meaningful moments of vulnerability into your relationships? If your first impulse is to roast yourself or dip into Cancer man’s bag to project your unprocessed emotions outward in hopes people will receive this as vulnerability—then consider finding an emotions coach to identify what practices can help you. If nothing else, read Brene Brown’s work on vulnerability and shame.

Virgo Men

Every little moment where you can choose honesty—even when it’s hard—is a moment where your brain has the power to rewire itself toward something different. There isn’t an external source out there that can compel you to stop lying to others or to yourself when you are afraid, but there are tons of resources out there awaiting you—like DBT, EFT, EMDR, etc—if you want to explore your fear and transform your relationship to it. Stretch into the expansive capacity of choosing to do something different than what feels comfortable and see what honesty can do for you!

Libra Men

You will never find yourself at the bottom of some else’s glass. Get comfortable with the idea that learning to witness yourself and be witnessed by yourself is going to guide you so much farther than validation and confirmation from external sources. If you can spend more time in your day pursuing inner self exploration instead of churning through your external sources of validation, you will feel better and you will find the right relationships that you actually want to last longer.

Scorpio Men

Pain is a part of the human experience. Pain is not something that you can bear by yourself, even if it is true that nobody else can hold your pain for you. Stop looking for someone to hold your pain in an interpersonal setting and find a consenting therapist! From a trauma informed counselor to a psychiatrist to a sex therapist, to an esoteric acupuncturist, find someone who has honed in on the craft of building a container to facilitate processing pain. When you feel supported in processing your pain, explore what relationships that aren’t predominantly oriented around wielding your pain can look like.

Sagittarius Men

Go where your chaos is welcomed, Sagittarius man! If you are engaging deeply and then replacing people who do not mesh well with your unpredictability and low stakes commitments, you are a mess factory! Find people who are comfortable receiving what you have to offer! When you meet people who you feel can grow with you, communicate directly to them when things change! It could all be so simple Sag Man! Why would you rather make it hard?

Capricorn Men

You need to research the negative physical and social consequences of negative self talk. Commit to quitting the negative self talk! It won’t happen overnight but it won’t happen at all if you don’t keep getting back on the positive self talk horse every time you catch yourself fallen off! The ripple effect in your life will literally leave you in disbelief if you can commit to the pursuit of positive self talk for long enough.

Aquarius Men

Care should be the only concept turning around in circles in your mind if you felt called out by part one! What do people do for you in your life that makes you feel cared for? What have people done in the past? Have you been reciprocating care back to the people who care for you? Have you been reciprocating care in the way you like it done, or the way the people in your life want to be cared for. Have you ever asked how the people you care about want to be cared for? Will you commit to caring for them in the way they ask?

Pisces Men

Find the limits to your existence Pisces man! Where do the wants, needs, and whims of other people end and where does your own unique radiant emanation begin? That is the defining line that you need to be cognizant of! You need to identify who are the teachers who can help you find this line and keep in touch with its ebbs and flows!

If you resonated and want to continue this conversation in a way that feels deeply personal to you, click this button below to book a natal chart reading with me!

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